Monster: Ultra Strawberry Dreams

May 29, 2023

I actually have a semi-interesting story about this, for once. was on a roadtrip on the complete opposite side of the state and decided to pop in a gas station and check what monster flavors they had just for fun. and my god. they had SO MANY!!! BUT I ONLY GOT TWO!!! BECAUSE IT WAS A 2 FOR $5 DEAL AND I'M TOO MUCH OF A CHEAPSKATE TO GO FOR 4 FOR $10. UGH. I was incredibly surprised to see this flavor tho. it's new, for anyone who doesn't know. hrghrhghrgh

the description on the can reads as follows:
"Some people swear that strawberries are aphrodisiacs. They say if you share a double-strawberry with someone then they’ll catch feelings for you. All we know is the heart-shaped fruit makes the perfect flavor for our new zero sugar Ultra. Wonderfully sweet while slightly tart, this easy-drinking Ultra tastes like a dream. Passionately crafted with the Monster energy blend you crave; take one sip and you’ll be crazy for Ultra Strawberry Dreams."

the flavor profile, as defined on the website, is "Sweet, yet tart strawberry flavor"

RATING: Eh
god I cannot get over how absolutely fugly the monster website redesign is. I don't even give a fuck about the can description at this point, I just wanna know who approved this absolute lagging beast of a website. like, you think I'm bad at web design????? what's the multi million dollar corporation's excuse?????? they traded semi-decent functionality for...large pngs and a sticky header. okay.

the can is a light pink color. the design is basically doodles of various things including skulls, rainbows, strawberrys, mouths with teeth and strawberries for tongues, and various clouds and swirls. it's giving very much bored high schooler's math binder.

    I tried the strawberry dr pepper recently and I was a big fan, so this monster better knock my socks off.
  1. that definitely smells like strawberries. disclaimer: my spring allergies are acting up so my nose is stuffy, but as an avid enjoyer of freeze-dried strawberries, this 100% smells like strawberry. 10/10
  2. I guess I was expecting this to taste as strong as it smells, but it's not even close. 2/10
  3. the flavor is weak enough on its own, so there's not a lot of room for any aftertaste. ?/10
  4. if I really focus, there's a strawberry aftertaste, and that's not so bad. 5/10

overall rating: 4/10. I was really disappointed by this :( I wanted it to be good so badly. how berry disapointing....[I AM FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM THE BLOGPOST]

next up is ultra violet. stay tuned