Mango Loco

March 31, 2023

this post is about the Monster flavor "Mango Loco." the description on the can reads as follows:
"Following Halloween each year friends and family gather to celebrate 'Dia de Los Muertos'. Marigolds, mysticism and memories combined with food and drink entice the souls of the departed to join the party. Mango Loco is a heavenly blend of exotic juices certain to attract even the most stubborn spirit. Crazy good taste with just enough of that Monster magic to keep the party going for days…"

the flavor profile, as defined on the website, is "Juicy Mango."

RATING: yuck
so now the multi billion dollar corporation is gonna tell us about our culture. also I don't remember if I even like mangos

the can is a light blue shade, with the Monster logo, nutrition label, description, etc being bright orange. there's art of skeletons with sugar skull makeup dancing around, and flowers that are most definitely NOT marigolds. also, did I mention one of the skulls has a handlebar mustache? yeah

let's just get this over with

  1. definitely smells like mangos. 10/10
  2. I honestly don't know what this tastes like. there's definitely a little mango in there, but the rest is just...???? it's like the flavor equivalent of white noise. it's not bad, it's just disorienting, for lack of a better word. artificially sweetened white noise. 6/10
  3. the aftertaste is mango. more mango than the,,,during-taste(?), but still pretty weak. 7/10

overall rating: 6/10. the flavor isn't bad, but is it worth it? is it worth the emotional toll of drinking out of a can with a drawing of a sugar skull with a handlebar mustache on it? I don't think so.