Ultra Sunrise

March 17, 2023

I started a new job recently, and it's actually in my field of study (yippee!). my first day didn't go that great, but as I was wandering around the building I saw a vending machine with TWO new Monster flavors. it didn't just have the basic bitch Monster and then ultra zero!! it had actual interesting flavors!!

you know when recipe blogs write you a whole novel before they get to the actual recipe? yeah. I'd do that #ForTheBit but I'm not good at talking for long periods of time. this post is about the Monster flavor "Ultra Sunrise." the description on the can reads as follows:
"Get up, get out, go for it! Ultra Sunrise is dedicated to those who sacrifice sleep for passion: catching waves at dawn patrol, up on the bike when the morning dew gives the dirt more grip, or the first pass on that glassy lake kicking off an epic wake session. Ultra Sunrise will get you started but is great anytime: light, crisp, and refreshing with a flavor all its own. Packed with a full load of our Monster orange energy blend to keep the fire burning all day long. After all it's always sunrise somewhere."

the flavor profile, as defined on the website, is "Light and Crisp Citrus and Orange"

RATING: Hmm
I ride my bike to work (different job) at 6 in the morning, so I think I'm considered in the target demographic here. if this monster doesn't knock my tits clean off, I'm quitting my job and becoming a hermit in the woods.

worth mentioning: I'm something of a long-time connoisseur of orange flavored carbonated beverages. orange soda has always been one of my go-to drinks, so this Monster has some very big shoes to fill. (the shoes are my autism's need for familiarity.) (if it tastes bad I will scorn its name and it will never see the gates of orange pop heaven.)

as for the can art, that thing is definitely orange. it's orange like the particularly ripe fruit, and not like the sunrise. on the side of the can near the description, there's various stencil drawings of swirls, stars, tiny planets, and a ufo. on the side of the nutrition label, there's a multi-layer arc of squiggly lines with triangle swirls coming off of it (like the sun). it's cute; I'd probably like it more if I were fond of the color orange.

now time for the drink:

  1. smells like orange, 10/10
  2. tastes like orange. hallelujah. 10/10
    • funny enough, the taste resembles orange Crush (distributed by Pepsi) more than orange Fanta (distributed by CocaCola, Monster's parent company)
  3. there isn't really an aftertaste. shrug emoji.

overall rating: 10/10. maybe my standards are too low, but it's really not that bad. like I said, orange soda is one of the "safe" flavors for my autism, so at the very least, this flavor didn't fuck that up. I really can't find anything wrong with it.

next time I'll be reviewing "Mango Loco." stay tuned.