Loca Moca

May 15, 2022

this one is about the Monster flavor "Loca Moca." the description on the can reads as follows:
"No foam, extra hot, half-caf, no-whip, soy latte…Enough of the coffeehouse BS already! It’s time to get out of the line and step up to what’s next. Java Monster… Premium coffee and cream brewed up with killer flavor, supercharged with Monster energy blend. Coffee done the Monster way, wide open, with a take no prisoners attitude and the experience and know-how to back it up."

the flavor profile, as defined on the website, is "Chocolate Mocha."

RATING: CRINGE
I always roll my eyes when people make fun of "long" or "complicated" coffee orders. I get that caffeine is society's most acceptable substance addiction but that still doesn't mean you're a badass for taking it straight. maybe learn how to have fun a little and get back to me.

the java monsters don't really have can art. it's brown because, yknow, java, and the background kind of has the texture of wood. there's a border around the label with brown triangles that vaguely remind me of leaves. shrug.

I've had this flavor before, so I already know that I like it. for what it's worth, this is one of the better canned coffees I've had. and I'm bisexual, you can trust my opinion on atypical coffees. does this count as iced coffee? idk.

it exploded on me when I opened the can. that never happens. 0/10
smells like coffee. 10/10
tastes like coffee. 10/10
the milk taste reminds me of the milk I used to get in those food take home programs in elementary school. I don't really know how to describe it. like, starting to go sour? I like it though. 10/10

overall rating: 10/10. like I said, I've had this before. many times. it's probably my favorite java monster flavor. 10/10 might be a bit generous, cause it's not like I receive any joy from drinking this. but I do tend to have specific tastes when it comes to coffee, especially if I'm gonna drink it on the regular, and this suits that perfectly.