May 07, 2022

hello my friends. I am definitely not just talking to myself here. certainly. this time I am reviewing the Monster flavor "Khaotic." the description on the can reads as follows:
"Back in “05” the original Juice Monster shook-up the game by combining great-tasting real juice with energy drink functionality and attitude. Now over a decade later, we decided it was time for a little makeover of the classic. We lightened-up the flavor and adjusted the juice blend to create a taste that is better experienced than described. Of course, our Monster Energy DNA remains unchanged. For our new paint job, we called on longtime friend and legendary street artist Risk. His iconic west coast style and vibrant presentation perfectly capture the spirit of our original Khaos reborn as Khaotic!"

the flavor profile, as defined on the website, is "Orange Citrus."

I think in this case "better experienced than described" is code for "I'm not being paid enough to pretend to care while writing this." which, valid.

the art on the can is indeed signed "Risk." the background is orange with teal being the other major contrasting color. the art is mainly just different textures and overlapping circles of varying shades, with a few butterflies made to look like they're melting. I can't speak much to its similarity to the west coast street art scene (or lack thereof) but it is fairly vibrant, for what it's worth.

as for the actual drink, here is my review:

  1. you know the hugs juice cartons? it smells like that kind of orange juice. 8/10
  2. tastes like if a hugs juice carton was carbonated and also kind of mad at you. 10/10
  3. the orange flavor is actually kind of weak, hence my comparison to hugs. 5/10
  4. the aftertaste is kind of chalky? like an orange bottlecaps. 7/10

overall rating: 5/10. not bad, not even to the point where I have to force myself to drink it. I just don't like it that much. probably won't drink it again any time soon.

thank you for joining me on this glamorous and thrilling journey. next I'll probably revisit some flavors I've already had, since those are the most readily accessible to me.